Once I had a dream; a little bird, lonely and hurt, was curled up in the nook of some branches. He looked up at the blue sky where he once belonged and sighed in despair. Not long ago, he dreamt of flying to a new and beautiful land, finding a new home, a place where he could soar. Suddenly, he realised he had a broken wing and could never return to the blue sky, his kingdom, where he could play freely and joyfully.
Sometimes, the feelings of immigrants are just like those of this little bird. As foreigners in a new land, we are often required to move down the ranks of societys ladder, creating a constant struggle and emotional imbalance. I often hear complaints from others about their unsuccessful careers and the small amount of money they have earned. Under these unfulfilling circumstances, "wives busy themselves with learning how to cook and husbands with gardening". In this foreign land, we have tasted both the joys and the sorrows of life. We quickly learn how to utilize the various spices in the kitchen. Life is like the ribs of a cooked chicken, tasteless, yet a pity to throw away. Frankly, I am just one of the thousands of lost immigrants, but I am truly thankful from the depths of my heart. Thank God for bringing me to New Zealand and for leading my family into the eternal Kingdom of God. This grace comforts me and brings me joy when I feel helpless, low-spirited or when tribulations strike.
My whole family originally belonged to a Presbyterian church in Singapore. We began truth-seeking in True Jesus Church in 1998. On the first time I attended an evangelical service, I was asked to go up to the front to pray after the sermon. Immediately after I closed my eyes, I saw a distinctive light traveling towards me from afar. The speed of the light took me by surprise when it penetrated my head. To be honest, I felt neither pleased nor flattered at the time, only extremely frightened. Although I had been in touch with Christianity for about 7 to 8 years then, I never had such an experience. The doubt and anxiety I had within me was indescribable. This light startled me, yet at the same time ignited my curiosity and my desire to understand. There is no word in my vocabulary that describes this light accurately. I even consulted a friend who is a pastor from another church but I did not find a satisfying answer. Thank God for leading me to Acts 2:1-3 during Bible-reading one day. My heart was suddenly opened when I saw the phrase "tongues of fire". I was very excited to find the only phrase that accurately portrays this light.
This finding somewhat removed a part of my fear but I still had many questions. According to the Bible, the Holy Spirit descended when "tongues of fire" rested on the disciples. Why didnt I receive the Holy Spirit then? If God really wanted me to see this vision, why did it come and go so hastily, why not let me see it clearer?
At the time, my husband came to church with me even though he also had many suspicions concerning the method of prayer. Half a year passed by quickly and the next evangelical convocation came. I attended the first two nights and wanted to invite my husband to the third night. However, he rejected me immediately when I opened my mouth to ask. I told him that many had received the Holy Spirit during the past two nights and that there is no harm in going there just to gain some experience. In the end, he said to me unhappily, "This is the last time Im taking you to True Jesus Church. If you want to go in the future, you can go yourself." Thank God for His amazing guidance. After the prayer session, my husband was the only one who received the Holy Spirit that night. As I walked out of the hall, a gospel booklet that I have once read came into my mind. The title of the article was "Salvation Came into My Household". This was truly what I felt then.
We decided to leave the Mandarin Church in West Auckland. Many friends of mine did not understand why we seek the church far away when there is one close by. This reminded me of an incident. Under an invitation, some friends and I went to an orchard in South Auckland. When we entered, we were immediately attracted by the delicious looking oranges on the trees. The owner of the orchard was our friend and he told us to feel free to enjoy the fruits. Later, my friend, who walked deeper into the orchard, shouted, "The fruits on this tree is extremely sweet, come and eat!" So everyone quickly ran over to eat the fruits off that tree. My son, Oscar, was still young at the time so I paid extra attention on the ground as it was uneven, full of puddles and because of lack of maintenance, it was also overgrown with weeds. But these obstacles did not stop anyone from going to that tree; even my little 3 year old son went to taste the fruits. I guess this is the same principle, who would not prefer a sweeter, juicier fruit? In 1999, my whole family baptised into True Jesus Church. After 10 years of believing in Christianity, we went to a total of 7 churches, and finally our journey of searching for the Truth came to an end. Just as the Bible promised us in Matthew 7:7, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." The promises of God never fail.
In 2000, Lynna, my youngest daughter was born. Lynna is a very blessed child who received a lot of care from God. She grew up smoothly; however, when she turned two, the condition of her eczema worsened and was very hard to control. When she had chicken pox, along with her skin infections, her whole body was covered in pox and rashes. She was only three then and because it was so itchy, she cried and scratched all day. Seeing her condition made me want to cry, yet I could not find any tears. This additional anxiety and disappointment, together with the exhaustion from looking after Lynna, brought me down to a spiritual low. Thank God, through the intercessions of brethren at church and also from the many tips and medicines they gave us, Lynna gradually recovered. Her chicken pox fully disappeared, leaving not a scar on her body. The condition of her eczema has also improved immensely. Although the doctors have told us that she may be unable to consume flour during her entire life; however, now she can enjoy all kinds of products made from flour. Praise the Lord.
Lynnas eczema had once brought both emotional trauma and spiritual battles to my family. At one point in time, we did not pray earnestly, and only seek after all sorts of medicines, physicians and even non-conventional methods. Thank God, under His callings, we started to examine our footsteps and found our way back onto the right path when the doctors informed us that there was no cure for eczema. Praise the Lord, for although we walked through the valley of the shadow of death, we were unharmed and we did not sink at times of little faith. During these processes, we realised that the path of the Lord is indeed hard to walk on; we also felt the deep grace and love of God, something so precious that we can not afford to depart from it. It is as if we are walking through a long and twisted tunnel. As we endeavour on this path, our hearts cheer when we see a light, but the light disappears as we turn a corner. Although it is dark in the tunnel, you will not stop walking but instead pace faster, because you know that not far ahead, at the end of the tunnel lies a bright new paradise. As John 16:33 records, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." This verse strengthened my faith.
In the past years, the grace of the Lord on my family has been abundant. The Lord has guided and watched over us in our every footstep and every decision. I am reminded of a verse that I would like to share with everyone. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Php 4: 6-7)
Although we seem to have gained nothing in our journey to New Zealand, however receiving Jesus into our lives is more precious than anything in this world. Thank you, New Zealand. Thank you, True Jesus Church. May all the glory and praises be given unto our God in heaven. Amen.