Is dating a non believer really that bad?

For the youths on this world, it may not seem like an important issue nowadays to have relationships with non believers, it is not like either of you are willing to take it further, such as marriage.

But lets ask ourselves one question, why devote all your heart and time into that individual if you are not benefiting from it later on? Why follow their worldly habits and disappoint our Lord Jesus if they are not to be your spouse? Creating affectionate relationships with non believers is indeed a test for our faith.

Love is blind and Satan can slip into that blindness and craft a way for you to sin and go against God without conscious. We know about King Solomon, the wisest king of all nations, but yet he was not wise enough to distinguish Satans tricks in his love life.

Solomon was a loyal and god fearing king, but yet he had a feverish love for foreign woman. Was it not because of his weakness against his foreign wives that his righteous path got lead astray? We must not follow in Solomons path.



 

與未信主的人約會真的那麼糟嗎？

對當下青年而言，和未信主的人交往似乎不再是一件天大地大的事情了。畢竟，在交往的過程中，當事人並沒附帶要進一步發展的但書──論及婚嫁。但是，讓我們捫心自問，為什麼我們要花時間、費心在一位對我們的往後人生毫無助益的人身上？

既然他（她）不會是未來的另一半，我們為什麼要追隨他們屬世的風俗，讓主耶穌失望神傷？與未信主的人談情，不啻是對信仰的試探。愛情是盲目的，而撒但可能就隱身於其中，讓我們不自覺地違逆神，走上祂所鋪張的罪惡大道。

我們所知道的所羅門，雖然他的智慧無人可比擬，然而他仍然不夠聰明，無法發現自己已身陷撒但巧妙佈下的重重情網中。所羅門是位敬畏神，對神忠心的王，但是他畢竟還是無法抑制他對外邦女子那分狂熱的愛情。這豈不是因為他寵幸外邦女子的軟弱，而導致他的正路愈偏於邪。我們需引以為戒，不可效尤所羅門的行徑。

In Gods eyes, the people He had sanctified and had made such sacrifice to, should they again defile themselves by dating and accidently sinning?

He died on the Cross for us in order to wash away our sins and impurity, but we still walk blindlessly into those sins and traps of bonding in passion with gentiles and non believers, knowing well that it displeases him but still trying to quench the thirst for our worldly desires.

Even the most faithful and loyal to God man could be lead off into the wrong direction because of love and infatuation. Satan may not be stronger then God, but he is indeed stronger then the rest of us mere human beings.

在神的眼中看來，對於那些祂犧牲自己而使之成聖的人民豈能因約會與意外犯罪再次玷污自己呢？祂死在十架為的就是要洗去我們的罪，除去我們的不潔，縱使我們知道這事惹神不悅，但是我們仍然為了滿足屬世的慾念，盲目地走回罪惡捆索之中，與未信主的人同套在情箍中。不管對神是如何忠心、有信心的人，都有可能因愛和迷戀而誤入歧途。撒但或許不比神的權能，但卻是毫無疑問比我們任何人都更有力量。



 

Challenging Our Faith

It may not seem as if we are challenging our faith when our lovers are gentiles and non believers, but we are not only challenging our strength in faith but also testing Gods forgiveness in the things we do.

Intertwining our love with gentiles can cause us to stumble in our faith and bring milestones in Gods truth. Satan tempts us daily with different techniques to convey us to sin again God, but one of the easiest ways is through love and dating.



 

對信仰的挑戰

與未信主的人交往看似不是一件危及信仰的事情，但其實這麼做不但是挑戰自己信仰的根基，而且還是在試探神的憐憫。與未信主的人共築情網，只會讓自己身心被縛，在信仰路上失足，在神的真理上絆跌。撒但無時無刻想要利用各種詭計誘導我們犯罪得罪神，而當中最輕易簡便的手段便是透過情愛與約會。

As part of this society, weve all heard the saying “Love is blind” and undeniably it sometimes is. Dating a non believer or gentile seems okay sometimes, everybody is doing it now.

But honestly, how many times have I seen sisters and brothers who have discontinue coming to church because they had tied the knot with an unbeliever? Sadly to say, there has been too many to count.

I have seen a various number of my favourite RE teachers, or a youth in church that I looked up to; leave because of their love for their gentile partner.

I have seen the process of their slow down fall of faith; from coming every Sabbath, to every second Sabbath, to once a month to a few times a year and eventually they are lost from Gods hands.

It is a heartrending situation to watch, and as a child I watched my role models in church turn away from God to satisfy their hunger for the people of the world.

身為社會上的一分子，我們都聽過「愛是盲目的」這句話，而這句話也當然有幾分道理。與未信主的人約會有時候似乎是無傷大雅，因為每個人似乎都正這麼做。但平心而論，有多少弟兄姊妹因為與未信主的人陷入情網後，從而消失在教會之中？自是不計其數。

已經有我許多敬愛的宗教教育教員，以及我所景仰的教會青年，都因為他們對未信主的那一半的愛而離開教會。我也目睹了他們信仰步步滑落的經過，從每安息日出席，到隔安息日，到一月一次，甚至到一年僅數次，最後他們終於遠離了神的慈手。這樣的情況是不忍親睹的，孩提時代看著我在教會中學習的楷模，轉身遠離神，以追求世上的朋友為滿足！

Putting yourself in a situation where your other half is a non believer is quite crucial. Its like a battle and struggle in faith everyday. King Solomon married many foreign women. The Lord had told him to stay away from these gentiles for they may lead his heart astray and turn his head towards their gods.

But Solomon held fast to his love. Without a doubt in the end Solomon’s spiritual path mingled with the gentiles spirituality and his heart was no longer entirely devoted to God （1Kings 11:1-6）.

We have all heard that Solomon was indeed a very righteous king, he was wise and had a close relationship with God. But in the end his spiritual strength was beaten by the power of his desires.

去結識未信主的人作為另一半，無非是讓自己身陷險境。這麼做就像是讓自己的信仰日日都處在掙扎與善惡交戰之中。所羅門王娶了許多外邦女子，真神早就警告他要遠離這些異族女子，保守己心免被誘惑而偏向他們的神。

但是所羅門卻在自己的情愛上固執，毫無疑問地，最終所羅門的信仰與外邦人信仰混雜，他也不再專心順從耶和華（王上十一1-6）。所羅門曾是我們所知道的公義的王，他擁有絕頂智慧以及和神親密的關係。但是，最後他的信仰根基卻不免被他的私慾腐蝕殆盡。

In our days, not only does marriage clash with our spirituality and faith but dating is also a great cause because its so easy and its our way of escaping the fact that we are sinning against God.

We have to keep in mind that Satan is always on the ball to turn our heads away from our Lord Jesus Christ and to the unholy, impure desires and luxuries that the world has to offer us. He tempts us with the beautiful women and handsome men of this world.

As a growing youth, we might think were unbeatable, that love will not get in the way of our faith. But it is so easy for Satan to just snap his fingers and create the perfect, cliche moment for us to fall into adultery.

如今，不但婚姻，連約會這個輕而易舉的行為，也有極大可能會使我們的信仰觸礁，約會彷彿讓我們忽略我們正在得罪神。然而我們必須謹記在心的是，撒但善於迷惑我們的腳步，引我們遠離主耶穌，進入蔓延在這個世界上的諸多不聖潔的慾望和奢華之中。

牠以世上面貌姣好的男女為餌來誘惑我們，正值青年的我們，可能會自認自己的信仰是無懈可擊的，情愛不是我們信仰路上的絆腳石。但是，撒但在彈指之間便能夠設下完美的陷阱，使我們犯下淫亂之罪。



 

We Are Different

We as Christians are different then Gentiles and non believers, in everything we do and everything we say, we are different then the people who dont follow God’s words. Our bodies were sanctified and purified when we were washed by his blood.

We are holy and children of God so we must remain separate from the unclean. Our bodies are filled with the Holy Spirit, which dwells in us, and we are to not defile this blessing by dating gentiles or nonbelievers.



 

我們是不同的

身為基督徒的我們和非信主的人，不管是在說話行事上都應該有所不同，因他們不懂得遵守神的話。我們的身心既然都已經蒙主的寶血得以洗淨，已獲潔淨的我們擁有神兒女的身分，本應和不潔之人有所分別，更何況我們的身體是聖靈的殿，所以這個恩典絕不能因為我們和未信主的人約會而受到玷污。

In our living times now, the world is a sinful and appalling place full of adultery, sins and sexual immorality. Having Satan as the king of the world, we can see the process of corruption become more and more severe.

Almost daily we read or hear about unfathomable atrocities or freak crimes committed. Immorality and darkness keep a tight rein in todays world. We go to school and work and hear that so and so has been sleeping with so and so or whos dating who.

如今，世界上滿有各種充斥著淫亂、罪惡和性犯罪的誘人陷阱。這個世界因為撒但掌權。我們可以看到世界逐步墮落的過程是越發嚴重，幾乎每天都報導著許多令人匪夷所思和違逆人性的的罪行；黑暗與罪惡正逐步掌握了世上的權勢。在學校或是工作場合，常會聽到許多人不諱言談及，誰和誰又發生性關係了，誰和誰又約會去了。

But having relationships with a male and female is so common now a days, theres nothing wrong with meshing or playing around with a person of the opposite sex. The world around us is beyond sinful making it seem like a light sin for people to do that.

Worldly entertainment shows us that dating is; loving, you get flowers, chocolates and unfailing love with a person, then you get married. But we have to remember that we are godly children, our bodies are the temple of god and we must keep his words in our hearts.

We are different then the world, and honestly, how many high school lovers have you seen give chocolates, flowers and get married afterwards?

但是在現今的時代，和異性有一段情似乎是司空見慣的事了，在情場上遊龍戲鳳一番似乎也無傷大雅，全因生活周遭罪惡滿盈，使得許多大罪便只如小過一般。電視上的娛樂節目不斷向我們灌輸約會有令人欣喜的浪漫、鮮花、巧克力，以及永誌不渝的愛情，然後步入婚姻。

然而，我們必須記得我們是屬神的子女，我們的身體是聖靈的殿，心中必須遵主的話而行。我們自是要與世界有所分別，況且，說實在的，有哪些戀人收收鮮花、巧克力，在離開學校之後，便步入禮堂成婚的？

God had once said “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?”（2 Corinthians 6:14） we are righteous and we must learn to keep both our hearts and minds that way. We have no simiralities with gentiles and non believers, for we are from different categories.

We have chosen Gods words, where as the gentiles have chosen the world. But we have to be able to show the difference in our behaviour and how we portray ourselves, not only in church but in the environment around you wherever you go. We must be a good Christian to God by not dating and keeping his words.

神曾說：「信與不信不能同負一軛，義和不義有什麼相交呢？」（林後六14），我們是蒙神稱義的，而且也必須時時保守我們的心靈。我們和未信主的人本就沒有什麼相干，因為我們是不同的族類。我們選擇的是遵守神的話語，未信主的人選擇的是附庸世上潮流。

在教會內外、生活周遭，我們都必須在實際的行為上彰顯我們與未信者的不同。我們必須成為一位好的基督徒，遵守祂的話，不與未信者約會。

When we let ourselves become physically and emotionally close with a gentile, we are facing a huge trench in our road to salvation. We are opening so many different roads that Satan can choose from. Parties, clubs, dates and movies, they all sound appealing to our humanly sense.

“ why not spend a night with your boyfriend/girlfriend and just have fun? ”No harm will be done, right? Wrong. Dont lie to yourself that this time will be the last time because tell me, when a child tastes candy once, can he restrain himself to taste it again later on?

在身心上，當我們與未信主的人密不可分的時候，很有可能會成為我們救恩道路上的鴻溝。等於處處給魔鬼留下地步。舞會、俱樂部、約會，以及電影院，似乎樣樣都是誘惑人的。

「何不與男／女朋友共度春宵，來點樂子？這麼做不會有任何不妥，不是嗎？」大錯特錯！別自欺欺人了，不要每次都後悔地說這是最後一次了。有哪個孩子嘗過甜頭之後，會忍住不再嚐的？

God doesnt tempt us, he doesnt sit in heaven thinking about the ways he can make you fall. James writes plainly that God does not tempt anyone （Jas 1:13）. Apostle John reiterates, “For all that is in the world the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life is not of the father but is the world”（1 John 2:16）.

God does not trick us into committing sin and adultery; we are unintentionally tricking ourselves without knowing it. You might wonder sometimes, Why does God put such an attractive individual before and forbid me to interlock with him or her?

When you come to situations like these, pray, because God will guide you through it, you have to keep your faith strong and persevere it, for Satan is always waiting at the corner, ready to take you in his malevolence hands.

神不會試探我們，祂不會坐在天上設計讓人跌倒的陷阱。雅各在《聖經》中明言「神不試探人」（雅一13）。使徒約翰也說：「因為凡世界上的事，就像肉體的情慾，眼目的情慾，並今生的驕傲，都不是從父來的，乃是從世界來的。」（約壹二16）。

神絕不會誘使我們犯淫亂之罪，而是我們在不覺時自墮歧途。我們或許會尋思為什麼神把一位這麼有吸引力的人帶到我們面前，卻又禁止我們和他有任何瓜葛？當你面對這種情況時，記得要禱告，因為神必會開路，我們必須堅守信仰，決心忍耐，因為撒但總是埋伏在暗處，向你伸出牠惡毒的爪牙。



 

Through my eyes

As a growing teen in todays society, I am faced daily with temptations and sinful offerings that are not holy in the eyes of the Lord. Do you want a smoke? Want to party this Saturday? Want to go drinking tonight? Those are all phrases that a teen faces.

Yes, sometimes my faith will waver and I wouldnt be sure if I should reply with an agreement or not. But thank God every time a door like that opens, God moves the Holy Spirit in me to shut the door and stay on his holy path.

Dating is so universal and open now a days. Relationships arent about the emotional and understanding of your partner anymore, its about the physical stages youve accomplished. As a teen I find that we are the easiest targets for Satan and sin.

We are so vulnerable at this stage and we want so badly to fit in with our friends and peers. But doing that usually means doing wrong in the eyes of God.

Honestly, how much do you even hear “Lets go to the chapel to study the words of God”? Even in church it’s “So your going to that club with him tonight?” Its unbelievably how much power Satan has over our worldly needs.

Ive seen friends that I grew up with turn away from God because of their needs for the “love of their life”. Dating is so common that sometimes we dont even remember that its displeasing to God anymore because were too focused on how to please our worldly partners and blinded by the dark beauty.



 

我的看法

身為當代社會的青年，我們總是每天都面對著各種誘惑和神眼中所視為不潔的罪惡。「來哈根菸吧？」「週末來場舞會吧？」「今晚來買杯醉？」這些都是青年常常面對的試探。有些時候，我們的信心的確會動搖，猶疑是否應該答應。但是，感謝神，每次當誘惑之門開啟時，神透過內住聖靈的感動，讓我能夠拒絕誘惑，走在祂的正道上。

約會在現今的時代，是再普遍也不過的。現下「男女關係」的深淺已經不再指心靈上的交流，而是指肉體的親暱程度。身為青少年，我覺得我們是撒但眼中最容易下手的目標。在這個年紀，我們是很難抗拒誘惑，而且也很想能夠融入我們的朋友和同儕。

但是，這些事情都在神的眼中不看為正的。平心而論，有多久沒聽到這句話：「我們一起到教會讀經吧？」甚至在教會之中，「你今晚就要和他去俱樂部？」這句話也時有所聞。我們實在是不能輕視撒但針對我們屬世的情慾所設下的計謀。

和我一起長大的朋友遠離神，只因他要追求生命中的愛情。約會是如此普遍，甚至我們都不記得這是不得神悅的事情，因為我們被虛假的豔麗所蒙蔽，只是處心積慮地想要討好異性。



 

But there everywhere!

How am I suppose to stop interacting with gentiles? Its impossible! That is true, each day we have to face them as we go about our daily lives, everywhere we go there are non believers and gentiles. Sometimes you may even be the only True Jesus Church member in your town. But that doesn’t mean you have to go date them.

Love isnt inevitable, as long as we keep our distance and limits clear. We dont have to go into a physical and emotional level with the opposite sex because all our friends are doing it.

We dont need that extra hunky guy as arm candy or that slim pretty girl to impress our friends. We need to impress God; show him that you can hold fast to the truth even though you are surrounded with evil and sexual immorality.

我們要如何不再與外邦人交往？這是不可能的。即便如此，我們每天還是必須與他們相處。有時候，可能鎮上只有我們是真教會的信徒，但這也不意謂就必須與他們交往。只要我們保持距離，畫清界線，愛情不全然是無法抗拒的。

縱使周遭的朋友都在把玩男歡女愛的遊戲，即便如此我們卻也不必隨之起舞。我們不需體格壯碩的男友或是窈窕身段的女友來讓朋友刮目相看，而是要讓神因我們可以在充滿罪惡、淫亂的大環境之中保守信仰，而對我們讚許有嘉。

We dont have to be searching for our spouse or partner because God has your life written out. He knew what was going to happen through out your life before you were even born. He had carefully planned out all the good, the bad, every scratch and scar you have and every emotional or physical strive you go through.

So we must trust God in our relationships and trust that he will find the right person. We shouldnt take dating a gentile as a light matter because it is actually a serious sin that can lead to deadly sin.

我們不需要刻意去找尋配偶，因為神早已有安排。在我們出生前，祂早就知道我們一生的道路。祂縝密地安排我們一生當中可能面對的各種酸甜苦辣，以及身體、心理上的掙扎。在交往這件事上，我們必須相信神，祂會為我們找到正確的那一位。我們不應該將與未信主的人約會視為無傷大雅，因為那的確會導致致命之罪。

Our God is the one true God and he would never do you wrong. Put your trust in him and keep it in your prayers that he may find you a loyal and god loving partner to spend your days with and to serve the Him together.

Pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit and abundantly trust in God that he will fulfill your life and shower you with blessings. So the next time your faced the a temptation, dont give in to that alluring female co worker, or that cute guy sitting in front of you in English class. Keep your distance and God will look after you.

我們的神是唯一的真神，祂不會做錯事。凡事交託給祂，並放在禱告之中，祂會為你安排一位敬神愛人的伴侶共度一生服事的道路。為了能夠順服聖靈的引導而禱告，要時時刻刻相信神會滿足你的生活，以恩霖滋潤你心。下次當你面對誘人的試探時，別向他／她輕易舉起白旗。記得要遠離罪惡，神會看顧。


備註：Hoanne是一位16歲的高中生，出生於加拿大，生長在傳統中國家庭但受西方教育長大的第二代海外教會青少年。

她曾見過同學吸毒、加入幫派、換男朋友像換衣服一樣。她所接觸的學校環境是非常開放而且淫亂的，不只是觀念，連行為也相當開放。

但在周遭同學眼中，都認為這是正常，這種同儕的壓力，不知不覺也影響了教會的青少年，她看見這許多人，曾經疑惑，也曾徬徨，因為「異類」的感覺並不好受。

2009年6月底她參加教會舉辦的青年活動，在每天的課程中學習思考主的話語，當她寫下這一篇「當轉角遇到愛時？」我們可以從中看到這位年輕姊妹，在人生旅途上又有更大的成長。